Navigating the Holiday Season When Struggling with Food and Body
The holidays can bring on many exciting things; cozy pajamas and blankets, dinners with friends, warm fireplaces, and spending time with family and/or friends. Although all of these things can provide a sense of warmth and healing, there are also difficulties that come along with this time of the year.
Food is a cornerstone of the holidays - think laboring away all day (or days in advance) to provide a 30 minute thanksgiving meal or a big Christmas Eve dinner like The Seven Fishes, a workplaces holiday party, and desserts galore - pies, cakes, pastries, cookies etc. When we attend a social or family function, often times one of the first questions is “will there be food?”
Food brings us together. The dinner table provides a staple in our society and serves as an environment to foster connection with others, often shared over a meal.
When we are working on our relationship with food and body, routine is key. With my clients, we talk about safe and unsafe foods, activating friends or family members, coping mechanisms and of course, the “why” regarding our difficult relationship with food and body. Routine helps us stay on track, especially in the early days and months of recovering from an eating disorder. With the holiday season in full swing, routine often gets disrupted or thrown out the window completely. With this reality many emotions including anxiety, stress, worry, sadness, depression, insecurity, and even frustration or irritation can occur.
Tips in navigating the holiday season when struggling with your relationship with food:
Prepping for the holidays with your therapist. It may sound cliché but planning is important! Being able to discuss history of struggles and nerves around the holiday can provide a space for growth and understanding. Going into the holiday season with a plan can also help reduce feelings of anxiety and stress.
Setting boundaries with friends and family. I know boundaries can sometimes get a bad rep, but boundaries do not have to be mean!
Sticking with at least one part of your routine through the craziness. As mentioned before, routines are often affected during the holidays. It is important to keep some part of your routine, but not stress to keep it completely 100. An example of this could be continuing to prioritize breakfast every morning. This may sound simple, but if we start our day off with skipping a meal, we can easily justify skipping other meals or go the opposite direction and binge in order to “make up” for the lack of food earlier in the day.
Don’t turn up the heat on yourself! We are our own biggest critic, and sometimes we forget that we do not have to embody that. What would it feel like to be on your own team? Meet yourself where you are at? Cheer for yourself? A lot of the times we are hard on ourselves because it is a learned behavior; someone or something taught us this at some point in our life. If we miss a meal due to stress, indulge on that second piece of cake, or don’t make it to our exercise class that day, it is okay - lets find the gray area instead of living in the black and white. Being mindful of this behavior and challenging it can make a huge difference.
Spend time with yourself before the holiday madness begins. An example of this can be a mindful exercise in the morning like journaling or a meditation - perhaps with your morning cup of coffee. Journaling can be an excellent incorporation into your day - highlighting your intentions, goals and plans for the day ahead.
Planning. Again, it may sound cliché but planning is important! If we use the same example from earlier, with wanting to make sure we eat breakfast everyday, an example of the planning stage is putting your breakfast choice on your grocery list ahead of time to make it more attainable.
• 7. Pacing yourself throughout the day. Pacing can be extremely helpful, as often times there are pressures to be continuously eating and drinking throughout the duration of the holiday event. Mindful eating means we are showing awareness of the food we are eating, and the food we want to eat.
